The Chickless Farm

Posted: November 25, 2011 in Funny News
Tags: ,

I thought that with the discussion of spelling, grammar, and punctuation that Kevin and I have had, this was fitting.

Favorite Quotes:

” I have 15 cats per acre and dog’s to my love which none is mine”

Using simple math one can figure out that if this person has 15 cats per acre and they have 1-1/2 acres, they clearly own 22-1/2 cats. But where did they fine the half? Are they saying that they not only have 22-1/2 cats, they have 22-1/2 dogs as well? We are talking 45 animals on 1-1/2 acres. Are they operating a petting zoo? Do they have the infamous “catdog”? 1/2 cat and 1/2 dog? Is this where the groundbreaking Nickelodeon series got its humble beginnings, on the chickless farm?

“To my love, which none is mine.”- We have a poet on our hands here.

” so I can only have 1-1/2 chicken. where do you fine the half?”

I bet you can fine half a chicken somewhere near your 45 clawed beasts that are most likely not penned up and are roaming your neighborhood pillaging trash cans and eating children.

” I just wanted 10 chickens in a pen”

Just 10, that’s all. I’m not asking that much.  10 chickens, one pen, 45 cats and dogs, what’s the problem? I know what the problem is, the damned “city fathers” think they are better than me, yeah that has to be it, I’m going to move into the country so I can have 100’s of small animals, that will teach them.

” They tend to forget this in there glory to with they don’t show there Belt Lining”

hmm….I’m lost.

” chickless is not forever”

At least they have a positive attitude. I mean clearly they are an idiot. They are poor as shit. They have way too many animals and desire more. But they are maintaining a positive outlook on the situation, good for them.

Final Analysis:

This is what all people on fixed income (A.K.A, Government Welfare) should be doing…..hoarding farm animals. Their logic is sound though. I mean think about it, they are on a fixed income, they can’t feed themselves, so they need the chickens to lay eggs for them to eat. What about the 45 dogs and cats that they are hopefully feeding? Clearly that has nothing to do with this individual not being able to buy food, it’s all the “city fathers” fault. Also, 1-1/2 acres is not exactly farm acreage. If this person thinks that they have a farm…..they need to look around at what kind of acreage is typically ranched or farmed, it is a hell of a lot more than 1-1/2 acres.

I do agree with this person to an extent though. The government (federal, state, county, municipal) should not be able to tell you what you can and can’t have on your private property. Here is the catch though. Our rights are clearly defined and protected, if you infringe on the rights of someone else then you are breaking the law. If I were this person I would go to my neighbors, explain to them what I wanted to do and ask them to sign a petition to the city government. But we all know this person will never put that many logical thoughts together to achieve this. Good luck to the “chickless farm”, and don’t forget, this isn’t St. Louis or K.C., this is Arma bitches, and we don’t play around about our chickens.


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